So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
