How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
