I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
