did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize