Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
