not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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