I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
