How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
