I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
