its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
