I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize