Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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