No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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