The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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