You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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