i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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