you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
