You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
