just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
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she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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