it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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