Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
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It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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