I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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