Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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