if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
