what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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