I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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