So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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