with your own penis?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
