I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
