You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Two words: blizzard sex
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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