If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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