we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
