I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
