White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
