I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize