Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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