She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You took a bar mat shot.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
