Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
