ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
