i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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