i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
