...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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