I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
