Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
