you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
