What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
