Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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