why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
