How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
