It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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