My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
