I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
