When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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