He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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