Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
