They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
