wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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