and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
