Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
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