D3 body, D1 cock
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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