You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
