I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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