the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize