I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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