I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if only i could text you this smell
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
