What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
did i walk over a car last night?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
