Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My ass is underappreciated
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize