guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
