we're blogging at a bar
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
